Spinneret

We Have A Situation Here

Go ahead, knock on the door.

No.  You knock on the door. Spairrow bites.

scritch, scritch.
Nope,nobody home.  Let’s go.

That was NOT a knock.  Damn your eyes.
BANG BANG BANG

Open Up In The Name Of The Law!

squeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

mph.  whmbl. ghuh?  snrt.  mphf?  wazzat?

Retired Captain Spairrow?  Detective Romney.  and I’m Detective Wolsey.  We have a situation here. And we … gah … ack … aghak…

There, there Det. Wolsey, come on.  measured breathes.  That’s it.  now go ahead.  Ask Captain Spairrow your question.

ah … wheeze … angh… May we come in?  No?  Sorry to bother you.  We’ll just be on our way then.

Of cour' shyew are shughar.  wha'd yew shay yer name washz?  lemme shee yer eyizh … Det. Wolsey!  Matey!  Why I han’t seen you since … since… that last Smiley’s sale. AR!  Now them where the daze Wooly fooly ,  those lost …  kid … silk… mphf? ghuh? arr…

See Romney?  It’s no use.  Spairrow’s … different now … we’ll get nowhere here.  We’re wasting our time.

Have I shown you my … oh, of course, Matey.  You must come in.  What must I be thinking? (Romney and Wolsey exchange glances) Leaving you out here on the … right this way … I’ve received the most lovely letter … I’m afraid it may be at the bottom of my stash … w’oopsey!  mind the cat!  It’s just … ought to be … can I get you … oh, the heat.  Is it me?  woomph!  Now where were we?  Oh, yes … I think you’ll find this very inneresting Wooly my friend.  It’s got all little hatchy crossy marks to it.  wif circles and dots.  Can’n make hide nor hair of it myself … but I thought … maybe you … brings to mind that old cable caper we teamed on.  back in the daze. But differ’nt if you take my meaning . ghuh? zzzzzz… mnng…

Wolsey?  You and Spairrow have been partners before?  Maybe you should be the one to … let me see that letter.  What are you staring at Wolsey?  Wolsey!

Romney!  Look at the post mark.   How the devil do you suppose Spairrow got a hold of …

… It’s the next clue

Louie Ain't Here, Man

Bang, bang, bang.

(sotto voce) Hey, pssst, it’s me Louie.  Lemme in.

Ain’t no Louie here.

No, I’m Louie.  It’s me.  I made a break for it.  Lemme in.  I’m around da block tree times.  I’m sure dey ain’t drawn a bead on me.

Louie’s not here, man.  Don’t know no Louie.

Gah!!  I told you.  I’m Louie.  Blue Louie.  For the love of Melanie lemme in!

Only Louie I know’s dead to me man.  Louie took a runner.  Louie turned stole pidgeon.

I ain’t no boid!  I’m tellin’ ya.  I threw ‘em a mickey and picked up on their plans on us. 

Tell me sumptin’ only Louie would know so’s I know it’s really you.

“Just Keep Knitting”

Louie!  It’s you!  Hey, wait a minute.  How come you’re all worked up like that?  Who got to you? 

They woiked me over pretty good I’m tellin’ ya.  But I din’t toin nuttin’ in.  Dey nearly frogged me’s what I’m sayin’.  It was nearly the life line for me.  Dey wuz gettin' out dah stitch markers when I made a break for it.

How’d you find us here though?  Ain’t nobody followed us here.  Nobody knows where
we're at.

 

Mother sent me.

No New Leads

It’s a dead end Captain.

We’ve crossed all the PSSO’s, we’ve double checked the S1,K2Tog,PSSO. It doesn’t lead anywhere.

The map is either a forgery or incomplete. We’re stymied. Without the rest of the map we’re never going to get to the bottom of this.

There are threats coming over the wires of knitters being held hostage. We don't know by whom.

Our last hope is, quite frankly, one I'd rather not have … Ret'd. Captain J. Spairrow.

if Spairrow can be roused …

god help us.

Somewhere in an undisclosed hideout;

“They got Blue Louie!
    They’re on to us Sunshine!   That Alpacaaddict musta been a stoolie!  This town’s too hot for us now!
    Nyyaaaaaaaaaa!   See!?  You’ll never take me alive, Blockers!  I’ll rip you all out!  See? 
    Get in the car Sunshine and keep your chart low,  we’re makin’ a run for it!  This ain’t no Clapotis!”

Meanwhile, back at the precinct;
    We’ve got our top forensic expert working on this.  One of our sources leaked a coded map to us. Once we break the code we think that map will lead us to the master mind behind all of this.

And out on the Coast;
    Get Back!  Oh, my god, Get Back!  Those sticthes are live!  They could go off at any moment! Noooooooooooooooooooo!

People's Evidence

We present Exhibit A, your Honor.  People’s Evidence #1.

.

The Addi’s were still warm when we found them Your Honor.  The hi-lighter on the chart still wet.  The perpetrator couldn’t have been more than a few rows ahead of us.  There seems to be a serial criminal working serially here.   The victims appear totally unrelated except they were both at the wrong S1,K1,PSSO at the wrong time.

The terrifying thing is your Honor, the threat to society that this is your Honor is we’ve just had a call from our west coast desk, they have an identical situation out there.  And one in Fairbanks.  And Fargo.   Interpol is casting about all across the continent trying to get a sense of how far this thing has spread.  We just don’t know.  It’s out of control.  We seek to apprehend and expect to indict, your Honor.

It’s a mystery.

CSI - MS3

Just the facts Ma'am.  Please.

I didn't hear a thing.  They're usually so quiet.  How was I to know?

Ma'am, did you notice anything unusual in the past few days?  Any odd packages in the mail?  Any strange cars?  Increase in the number of visitors to the web site?

No.  It's summer.  Everybody's doing their own thing.  Tell me officer, is it true?  Are there TWO of them?

Funny you should mention that Ma'am.  Strange.  I'm not allowed to discuss the investigation.

  Just a few more questions though if you don't mind.

Have you noticed any of your Lorna's Laces missing?

Can you account for all of your 3.5 mm needles?

Does the name Anne Schaeffer mean anything to you?

Where were you on the night of Friday the 13th?

Is PinkLemonTwist a code name you are familiar with?

Who else do you see there?

Are you now, or have you ever been … a knitter?"

Now Ma'am, no crying.  We don't fall for that sort of stuff.  You'll have to come downtown with us.

MI - MS3

So, … do we think Tom Cruise knits?
Charts schmartz, what you want is evidence?  Whadda you, from CSI (Craft Scene Investigation)?  When we have the body you will get your evidence.  I will see you in court.
And who is Mother?